[KarynB]

Great topic! We have a bio DD, adopted our middle son (T) at age 3 and our youngest (K) came home at 4.5 months. And I absolutely hear what you are saying! The crazy thing is that before our youngest came home, our middle guy rarely asked any adoption related questions. Once his brother came home, he wanted to know all these details about himself that we were now celebrating with his brother - first solids, first tooth etc. I was really sad sometimes that I just didn't have that info/knowledge of his early years, and it killed me to keep saying "I don't know". I was reminded of how much we missed, and what a monumental effect that has had on the rest of his life.

Over the holidays he told his cousin (also adopted, also 9 yrs) that he couldn't love his birthmother and that she wasn't part of the family because she abandoned him. Ok, well - clearly more work needs to be done! So we had a HUGE conversation (I followed his lead) about why birth mothers (particularily in the developing world) need to make those tough choices, and how it is ok to be sad sometimes about it. And, how it's ok to love both of us - we all have enough room in our hearts to love an infinite amount of people. Anyways...I have lots more to say, but need to turn off the computer (-: