[sak9645]

Personally, I wouldn't think of doing a conversion before the child is legally mine.

Judaism has always been very cautious about the whole topic of converting people, because, throughout history, there were groups of people who tried to force the Jews to convert to other faiths. We know what it feels like, and that it is wrong. We are not like some religious groups, which believe that it is important to proselytise, to save people from going to Hell.

That is why, for example, many rabbis make it tough for people to convert to Judaism. They want to be sure that the people converting are absolutely determined to be Jewish, and are not being pressured -- for example, "You can't marry my daughter unless you convert." Conversion classes focus on the difficulties of being Jewish -- prejudice, all those dietary laws, etc.

Obviously, modern-day Judaism has had to deal with situations like adoption. Somewhat reluctantly, Judaism had to recognize the fact that you can't wait until your child reaches the age of either religious or civil consent before making him/her Jewish. As an example, what happens if you wait, and all the other boys are studying for their Bar Mitzvahs, but your son can't because he isn't Jewish?

Today, most rabbis are comfortable with converting an adopted child who is not old enough to give consent -- though I've actually heard of some ultra-Orthodox rabbis who are not. However, a tradition has grown up of having the child reaffirm his/her conversion at the time of Bar/Bat Mitzvah, to show that he/she is happy to have been given the chance to be Jewish.

Because of this sensitivity, I think it would be religiously and ethically wrong to convert a child who might not actually become part of the prospective adoptive parents' family. In this case, you'd be requiring conversion of a non-Jewish child, with no justification, something that simply would not be acceptable to any rabbi or Jewish scholar.

If you went ahead and converted a child, and he/she subsequently was returned to the birth family, I think that you would need to advise the birth family of the conversion, and let that family decide what to do about it. I suspect that, in most cases, the birth family -- even if not terribly religious -- would choose to baptize or christen the child, or do something that would return the child to his/her previous religious identity.

If the birth family did not do so, yes, the child might remain "technically" Jewish. It is possible that he/she might be considered Jewish in a few very specific legal situations. As an example, if he/she became an adult and decided to move to Israel, perhaps he/she could qualify for Israeli citizenship under the Law of Return.

However, it is pretty much impossible to raise a Jewish child in a non-Jewish home. From a practical point of view, that child would not be Jewish, having had absolutely no serious exposure to the Jewish religion and culture. He/she would have to study as much as any convert if, at a later date, he/she decided to identify as Jewish.

Again, the bottom line, in my estimation, is that making a non-Jewish child Jewish should be done only under the specific circumstance of a finalized adoption.

Sharon