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I'm sorry for this scary experience. I understand the fear you must have felt, and the protective nature of a mom. My story has nothing to do with how you did or didn't feel because of anyone's skin color.
I just wanted to confess something that happened to me once that totally took me by surprise. We live in the rural midwest, but I have been exposed to many people of many cultures during my lifetime, so I feel I'm very accepting of all people. I was in a consignment shop, in another back room of the store where I had been alone with my kids shopping. I realized suddenly that two hispanic men had entered the room. They seemed to be moving cautiously, slowly and deliberately through the clothing. A shot of sudden fear went through me, and I got my daughters and quite quickly left the area.
I was totally shocked that I would feel this way about these men. Was it because they were hispanic. Would I have felt the same panic if they'd been white? I have two sons and two daughters from Guatemala, so how could their skin color scare me more than someone who was white? Did I jump to the conclusion that they might be up to no good because they were hispanic? Because of how they seemed to be moving and acting? I am still shocked and feel very badly that I jumped to conclusions and felt so frightened, yet if I'd been in the front of the store and not isolated in the back room, I think I would not have felt this way at all. I've been around hispanic men other times, been to Guatemala on four pick up trips and moved about the country, without so much as a thought except to wonder if my sons will look like this one or that one. Of course, I think they are all extremely handsome, like I feel about my sons. I just had to take stock of my own reactions and ask myself some serious questions.
I share this incident not to suggest any ill intentions by the OP. Like the OP, I think I was just suspicious of their hesitant movements. Was that all it was? I so hope that is why I felt the sudden fear, and not that I would react because of skin color. I know that my children might quite possibly face some type of racial profiling in their futures. Looking back, I can imagine the men were just uncertain about the situation, possibly unsure or not having done much shopping before, plus language might have been an issue. I wonder if my own DH might look just as suspicious to women, as he blundered cautiously through a rack of clothing, completely out of his element, glancing around in hopes of finding someone to give him a clue as to how to find his size.
As women, we sometimes have fears arise when things just don't feel right. I hope you find out what was going on, and that the incident with the young man has a totally logical explanation, so you don't have to feel frightened in your neighborhood.
I'm also sorry you feel hurt that your description caused such a reaction. I think later on, you will be able to understand why it did offend some and forgive those who you felt were accusing you of motives you didn't feel. I posted once on another forum and caught heck for my own opinions and choices for my own daughter. People who didn't know me or love my daughter accused me of making choices that were hurtful to her. She's 17, so I felt I knew a thing or two about her personality and about parenting her. I learned a thing or two from that experience, and I know how hurtful it is to have accusations made by people who don't know you.
Don't give up sharing your heart, though. I think everyone has something to learn from everyone else on these boards. That's why I keep coming back. I have learned from younger moms, and I hope I may have added a thought of value along the way for them, too.
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