My DH's family was not supportive about our son's OA so I understand where you're coming from.
But parenting reality check...you do what is best for your child not what is most comfortable for grown adults. They can take their sweet time getting used to the situation and you can allow that. But IMO you should never give your child the indication that their birthfamily is something to be ashamed of.
You have an OA...you rock! Be proud so that your child can too. I believe it was the book "Adoption is a Family Affair" (I could be wrong I've read too many!) that said you should ask yourself "is it more important that I'm a good parent or a good child?"
Open adoption is the norm in our house and I do have pictures of my son's birth mom in our house (just like I do pictures of grandma and my extended family). Keep the pics in.
After 2 years of relentless sighs and dirty looks at the mere mention of my sons birthmom my DH's family is finally figuring it out. Some people are slow to cope, you just keep doing your mom thing!
