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I am a 55 year old adoptee, and I just stumbled upon your question. If you really want to know the answer to your question, start reading some of the posts in the adult adoptee forums.
I was adopted at the age of 9 months, and my aparents told me that I was an unhappy withdrawn baby. I recently found out that my bmom visited with me several times while I was in foster care -- I really believe I bonded with her during those visits. In my mind, there is a undying psychic bond between mother and child. I also believe the bonding starts in the womb.
Just so you know, I had a good childhood and great aparents. I know that my bmom did the best thing for me by relinquishing me. But it never stopped the feeling within me that I was someone else.
There have been a lot of studies that conclude that adoptees tend to have a fear of rejection or abandonment. I can see that in my own life.
However, to end on a brighter note, I should say that I have had a very successful life with a long marriage and a good relationship with my aparents. I may have my insecurities, but overall I'm pretty "normal". Most adopted kids grow up just fine.
There is a lot of literature out there about the psychology of the adopted child, so just be aware that there can be issues. I'm sure you love your child and you'll be a great mom ! Best of wishes !
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