[dac_cincy]

Becca-

I felt alot like that in the ibeginning- what I had mised since Bug came home at 21.5 months. As we approach the milestone of being with me longer than he was not, I do not feel like that.
I feel that I was given those things I thought missed out- looking back at the pictures from when Bug came home to now, I see the blossoming personality, I see the trust that has been built up, I see our family knitted together - just as if I had given birth.

What I long for is the unknown portions of my son's story- I can't tell him the pre-birth story and I long for that piece. I probably long for it becuase I know the story I was told is not the truth- heck I now know that Birth Certificate he has in Guatemala is a lie and the alwyer knew it was a lie. So I grieve that part of the time that I can not give my son.

I don;t grieve for nursing/bottle feeding- he came home on 6-8 bittles a day. I don't grieve for the time when he was not walking- becuase the little man still demands to be carried quite frequently. I don't grieve for the helpless little baby, becuase he is such a helper as a toddler. But, I did grieve for these things at one time.
Time has given me a perspective this year and I am happy Bug came home when he did and at the age he did- I have not missed anything that I have not gotten to experience in a different way (I hope that makes sense).

Love and hugs,