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I have wanted to adopt for years and have pursued it a couple of times. We have 4 bio kids ages 15 and under. My husband has gone back and forth over the years. At times, he seemed very open to the idea, and at other times, very closed. Some of our kids were unsure, and this gave my dh reason to wait. I have always felt that I was meant to do it, and held on even when it seemed impossible. Through some friends of ours who foster, our family was able to see how 'normal' and comfortable the process can be. This helped everyone, and we proceeded. Believe it or not, my dh felt better doing foster care, than straight adoption. The fact that you are not expending alot of money, and knowing you are not committed to adopt, helped him bridge the gap. He loves kids, but as someone said, the unknown can be scary. We just had to return our 6 month old fd who we had from birth, and my dh said that he'd give all of his money to keep her if we could. Obviously, that is not an option, but I'm making the point that your husband may have initial fears, but once involved they usually do wonderfully. I also think that it's very normal for one partner to have the stronger desire than another. It is important, though, that both are committed to the process, because it is not an easy thing to do. I hope that this helps you.
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