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My dh and I were approved last May and had a placement of a newborn straight from the hospital one month later. We do have 4 bio kids already, but we were truly hoping to adopt. Our friends adopted both of their foster babies in the same county and this gave us reason to hope. From the beginning, it appeared that we would be able to adopt as this was mom's 6th child and she had custody of none. Anyway, we just had to return her at 6 months old right before Christmas. It has been really hard on us, but honestly, it's been especially hard on some of the kids. I am a 'quick attacher', and assumed I'd crumble if we had to give the baby back, but I've done suprisingly well. I still miss her terribly, and cry when I think of her, but I'm okay. We are actually still open for placements, and could get a call any day. I think if you remind yourself that the child that belongs with you will stay, it could help. Many people do build their families this way, and you will be okay. Try not to hold on too tightly, but have hope! Best wishes. Also, knowing that you gave a child a wonderful start in life, or a respite from tough times does make you feel a little better. Each person handles it differently. The day we found out our fd was going home ( and so suddenly ), I was ready to quit. By the next morning, I was open to other kids even though I was still hurting. Good luck with everything.
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