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Originally Posted by JPDakota
But see, the important person is not the biological family nor the foster parents. The child is who is important here. A child can learn their biological history even though adopted. This I know from the adoptee side. Doesn't mean they have to suddenly be ripped from their security and thrust upon strangers. And from the child's perspective, they aren't prepared to shift their entire security net just to be in the presence of someone who has the same DNA markers. What the heck does a little one know about DNA? Trying to get them for a long time has to feel incredibly unfair, but the child isn't a party to that. That time is gone now. Why should the child pay the price?
No, I have never been a foster parent. No, I have never tried to get custody of a relatives child. I was a CASA, but that does not make me an expert nor tainted in either direction. My focus is the child. Dang, she's 3 and happy and secure. Can't the grown-ups just deal with that?
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I should have made it more clear....my daughter is 6.5. She has been in care since 3 months before she turned 3. She is old enough to understand all of this. I think I am more worried about her than us. She is truly happy with us. For the last 3 months she has been asking when she can start using our last name.