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Originally Posted by JPDakota
But see, the important person is not the biological family nor the foster parents. The child is who is important here. A child can learn their biological history even though adopted. This I know from the adoptee side. Doesn't mean they have to suddenly be ripped from their security and thrust upon strangers. And from the child's perspective, they aren't prepared to shift their entire security net just to be in the presence of someone who has the same DNA markers. What the heck does a little one know about DNA? Trying to get them for a long time has to feel incredibly unfair, but the child isn't a party to that. That time is gone now. Why should the child pay the price?
No, I have never been a foster parent. No, I have never tried to get custody of a relatives child. I was a CASA, but that does not make me an expert nor tainted in either direction. My focus is the child. Dang, she's 3 and happy and secure. Can't the grown-ups just deal with that?
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AMEN. as a current foster parent and future CASA, i think more often than not, what is best for the CHILD gets forgotten, and little people have rights just like us. their needs have a right to be met and their voices, however small, have a right to be heard. when they can't speak up.....they have the right for someone else to do it on their behalf. someone who will fight FIRST, not for the rights of their parents, not the relatives, not even the foster parents.....but for THEM.
i suppose the only way to truly know how some of these kids feel is to ask those that went thru it how they coped. altho from a truly objective perspective, a child belongs with who gives them a sense of permanancy, safety and above all else...love.
