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<<before a review hearing the father who has not seen her in 3 years contacted the agency to say he has a cousin who wants to take her in. She has never even met this cousin. >>
A judge may very well see that this isn't in her best interest. If the father was interested before why didn't he make it a priority to see her for 3 yrs? The cousin? If this cousin wants to raise this child why wasn't the cousin in the childs life for all these years, establishing a relationship? These things do count as attachment is a huge issue in the emotional health of a child and I think the courts are beginning to realize this. Best of luck to you and your family.
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Kathy
BS-26 - my movie buff
SS-18- my karate kid
BD-17 - my dancer
BS-10 - my piano player
AD-9 - my tomboy
Adoption finalized 12-20-07!! 
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