"this board has been extremely beneficial to me in making my adoption plan."
IMO, that is the reason the majority of the birthparents I know from online and in person do not come to adoption.com for support.
and because they do not use the "birth" terms to diminish themselves as anything other than their child's mother and they are pro-natural family preservation.
There are many that have started web groups just for natural parents, sometimes adoptees are included, where they are safe from the many mean and completely intentional comments made often by many adopters.
Because they have become somewhat if not completely anti-adoption because of their experience of adoption, because of what they found out at the time they were lucky enough to have a reunion, or when they found out that open adoptions could be closed and there isn't a **** thing they could do about it.
or they find out that even their child's adopted parents ask themselves how his/her mother could just give this gift away, an unappreciated gift, after they've told the mom how strong she is to make such a selfless loving decision.
many of these mothers, as would I, an adoptee, would suggest any one considering adoption to visit these other sites, so you can be completely informed on how adoption can work out, before you decide on it for you and your child.
You may not get pats on the back for the loving decision you are about to make, but you will get affirmations of being your childs mother and deserving of your own child regardless of your age, financial or marital status, and they will offer you great help in keeping your child.
Is there a section set up on adoption.com that gives support to mothers that really want to keep their children, but feel pressure to choose adoption? or wish they had kept their baby? or offer legal assistance to those that have found their open adoptions closed once finalized? or offer support to those mothers that feel betrayed becasue their child did not get the home and life that they were promised? I dunno, I have not really looked.
Lots of people say what you want to hear when they want something from you.
There are a lot of myths around adoption, it's wise to know them so you can recognize them when you see them.
As you can see I have a very hard time behaving here
And I really do try usually, it's hard to be silent any longer.
If my first post today does'nt get me tossed this one may
I'm out
Beth