[crick]

Is there a possibility that you could bring your 19 month old dd to eat lunch with your older dd at school one day? Kids are just dang mean at times but I do find that if you take some of the mystery away or present it right to them in their face, they go "oh...". kwim?

If they see how cute she is and see that their relationship is just like any other sibling group, it won't be so "foreign" to them? Plus, it gives your dd support from you without being seen as a "tattletale" etc.

I would also let the teacher know that it's an issue and perhaps she can do a "lesson" on acceptance & racial tolerance without it personally relating to your dd.

For kids, I find that comebacks don't necessarily work as well as they do on adults. Social cues, maturity levels etc. But if she finds they do work on her peers, she might try asking them "Oh, so you are a racist?? How horrible for you!" or "Oh, I see you know nothing about adoption...I feel so sorry for you!"

I recommend she look them right in the eye and say in a very firm voice "I don't appreciate you talking about my sister that way" and walk away. Or perhaps "I'm sorry you are a racist but that's my sister and you will NOT talk like this in front of me".

Sigh...I hate this age range of 9-12 with kid groups! UGH!