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Originally Posted by craftingmama
you know what though? it is his child, and if he thinks a relative caring for her is a good thing, then maybe it is. foster parents go into it knowing that the ultimate goal is reunification and that family has rights before foster parents. it stinks but it is what it is. 5 months isn't very long for her to be with you, in the big scheme of things really.
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Really? You feel the need to post a fp's responsibilities or how long is very long here? We've all taken classes & understand the goals of foster care. Reunifying w/ "family" the child has never met is cruel (after 3 years) ...a bio parent is a different story ... a bio parent that shows up after 3 years w/ suggestions may not be serving the best interest of his biological child.
3 years is way too long for family to surface. I'd get a DNA test to see if this guy is even the father. If he is I'd contact the cousin (if your allowed to ) & see if he's consider letting her stay put-if he is in the field of children he must know moving a child is not always in the best interest...it may be in some cases but 3 years (or even the 5 months she's been in your home) is a lifetime for a child...literally.
Take a deep breath & stay focused on providing her a safe, loving home. I had a 1/2 bio sister show up after 18 months & she didn't pass the homestudy. 18 months was my sons entire life... she made no attempts for visits, contact, ect. I had a court order to have my son ready to move as soon as she passed the homestudy-she didn't pass. The cousin may have a clean background check (able to work w/ children) but may not have the home, $$, time or interest in taking in the little girl...sometimes bio parents beg relatives to say ok but during the homestudy they admit thay don't want to really commit for life. Good luck & pray it's not a done deal.