[MPJJJ]

Thanks for all of your advice. I know it's a silly thing, but I felt really bad about it. I'm already feeling terrible that these kids keep pushing me away, despite my best efforts to keep them happy and make them want to be here. Perhaps I'm just expecting too much. It's so hard to have precious children living with me, yet be unable to treat them as one of my own. It feels wrong to tuck a child into bed and not say "I love you." Maybe I'll get used to it.

Last night my boys cuddled in bed with me and we watched Scooby Doo. On their own, the two boys made their way onto the foot of the bed and watched it too. My Dh came in and laughed about how I was crunched between 5 kids, and couldn't even see the tv. But I was happy. I know I will be losing these fosters in the summer, their relatives are getting licensed and they are taking them in, as they should. I am afraid of letting myself get too attached and feel the heartache of letting them go, but more than that, I fear losing my own kids too. If that makes any sense, lol.