You must be doing a wonderful job in raising the children! Look at the positives: They can entertain themselves, they don't come running to you whining all the time, they have learned to make good choices in thier actions, they are becoming independent, they have learned some self- suffiency, and no one is "plotting against the elders" (lol). What a great job! As any children grow older, we start looseing our "grip". They are not as needy as they were when babies or toddlers. Take if from an empty nester!!!
Stop them at the door and get your hug. Tell them outright that it makes you feel better and it is a requirement. My dd is 31 and I still get my hug when we see each other... Granted it isn't daily any more (waaahhhh).
Get used to it - it will get worse as they get older.... as teens they may try not to speak at home for days at a time!
Pat yourself on the back and make your needs known to them..... and yes, you must be doing a great, great job of raising them and making them feel safe. Congratulations!
