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I don't think it's necessary to have a same race sibling.
3 to 4 years can be a lot during childhood, particularly if they are different sexes.
Can't help you with your cousin, other than just biting the bullet and asking her if she wouldn't mind you asking her some questions about her adoption. I have problems asking personal questions to my cousins that I'm not close to. I feel like it's an invasion of privacy.
At the end of the day, your son will be happy to have two older sisters who adore him and loving parents.
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