I'm not sure how to deal with this "new" thing going on in my daughter's life.
She told me that she thinks she's pregnant again.
I know I should feel ok about it but it's tearing me up inside because I KNOW I'll never get to know that new baby IF she's actually pregnant.
I haven't acknowledged it at all. I won't comment on it when she mentions it because I don't want to cry. I change the subject and act as if I didn't read what she wrote about it. I don't want to think about the fact that I won't get to know it and won't get to meet it ever or probably not even SEE what it looks like because my daughter won't send pictures anyway.
I havent' seen what my other grandchildren look like so long. I've begged for pictures but my daughter puts it off or tells me she's going to send them and never does because she really never intends to send any.
I just don't want to think about a new grandchild by this daughter because it HURTS SO MUCH.
I know not acknowledging the baby isn't going to keep the pain away knowing there's one I won't know but I just want to hide and not think about it. I don't know how else to cope.
I've got so much going on in my life right now that I can't add another pain. I can't deal with another disapointment. I can't handle anymore right now.
I keep hoping her "thinking she's pregnant" turns out to be something else.
I love my daughter WITH ALL MY HEART but I miss my grandchildren so much the thought of missing out on another grandchild tears my heart out. I got to know the 2 she already has and be a real grandma to them and then they were gone.
I just wish I could be "happy" about her possibly being pregnant but I can't.
Rylee