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Originally Posted by SoniaRose
Bromanchick,
In my viewpoint, choosing the circumstances of our life before we're born has absolutely nothing to do with blame -- I don't understand who would be blaming whom? Everything we do we do under God -- do we blame God for anything? Everything happens for a reason; there is no such thing as an accident or a coincidence.
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See, I am a believer in free will. I believe that God gives us a brain and a heart and sits back and watches what we do with them. I do not believe in pre-destination or that God (or that we pre-birth) have had our lives mapped out for us.
My thoughts on blame are this..... If we, as birthmothers, chose the path that leads to adoption,than we need to believe that we are responsible for everything that happens surrounding the adoption. So those birthmoms who have been manipulated into placement by unscrupulous professionals, or choose adoptive parents who abuse their kids or cut them off, or who may even conceived their children by rape, somehow planned it all so they could learn some kind of lesson. Given this, the unscrupulous professionals, or abusive adoptive parents, or the rapist are just a part of the grand plan. And it is because of this I do not believe that somehow we chose this path before we were born so we can learn a lesson. Nor do I believe that God deliberately puts us in these kinds of situations, nor do I believe that S/he puts these people in our lives so we can learn a lesson. The God I know and lovewants what is best for us, does not want to see us in pain and wants to see us use the gifts S/he gave us in a productive, fully loving way.
I think we have a basic difference in our theologies.