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Thanks Shadow . . .your post helped me tremendously . . .i was so taken aback my birthmother's comment that I wasn't sure if I was off base somehow for the way I feel. I have talked to so many adoptees who have a desire to tell their birth mother "Thank you" but I've never felt that way. And after speaking to her, i feel even less like saying thank you, except to say thank you for not raising me! She was a college graduate, from an upper middle class family, age 23 who gave me away because she wanted to meet her dream man. I don't blame her - it was the 60s and her mother pressured her. She did meet her current husband just 6 months after my relinquishment. She had two more children as well but is currently still married after 40 years. She is very narcissistic and I'm having a hard time keeping the relationship up because it is all about her. I feel responsible to continue the relationship because I found her. I'm still working this through.
But thank you again for your post.
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