[mommy3]

We've kept photos of birthfamilies in our children's rooms until they could make the choice of where those photos were placed. We enjoy the photos as part of family albums and if someone has a question/issue, fine with me b/c it's OUR album. I talk openly and warmly about visits but don't drag the discussion out. My MIL/FIL are kinda okay about the topic but hardly ever ask me more about ANYthing we share on birthfamily updates, which tells me they are generally uncomfortable for a very vocal family. Still, they have improved. My own parents think they know it all b/c they have two other grandchildren who were also adopted, but those are closed adoptions. . . so when I share anything, true to form, my mom knows all about it. . . and yet I realize she is fairly unenlightened for real. Still, it's not THEIR child's birthfamily and we do what we feel is right for our children's lives. I want our children to feel like any reasonable topic can be talked about so birthfamily updates/visits/love are just naturally part of our conversations. The quiet it the room is palpable at times when other family is around, but I figure the only way they can be enlightened is to enjoy our world. I'm sure my children will notice this when they get older and it may all go on the list of "things my grandma doesn't quite understand" but that's okay, 'cause we love grandma anyway. I agree with the "decide what's right for your own family" plan. susan