|
I just looked back at your posts, Kristin. Your girls were your sister's kids, right?
Okay. As a mom, I can tell you that you have a certain inclination to protect and defend your wounded child. I'm going to assume that this is what your mom is experiencing. To some extent, she can't help it.
But that's not at all helpful to you.
The fact is that sometimes, in order to keep loving people, you have to do it from a distance. I love my one brother, but he is not safe for me or my kids, so we do not have contact. You can love someone while no longer being physically or emotionally close to them.
No, it's not ideal.
But, what it is, is safe for the girls. Their needs take precedence over every other thing that anyone might feel. Your job is to keep them safe, both physically and emotionally. You cannot fulfill that role by allowing your sister into your life (or theirs) until she gets herself together.
I'm really sorry that your mom can't see it. All she can see right now is weak sister, strong you. She's trying to make it better for her. I wish I could say that this will pass, but I don't know that it will. The best course of action might be to simply tell your mom that you love her and your sister, but you cannot allow anything to disrupt the girls' well being. When people are more appropriate and the kids are older and stronger, then you'll think about letting Sis back in your life and not before that time.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
|