I actually think the photo book or scrapbook is the perfect way to get them use to it all. With a book they have to pick it up , open it up and take it on in their own time...photos placed out doesn't allow that.
I think you should do what you want and like for your hub and son as a family, but taking immediate and extended family into consideration is nice to. They didn't have all the time you guys did to prep mentally and probably didn't do 1/16 of all of the research, reading, etc that you guys did regarding OA. I think it's ok to babystep it with them for the long haul and big picture of a family.
I was bouncing around youtube recently and there are a couple of decent videos out there from the adoptees perspective (adults and young teens). Your family loves your son, so maybe seeing that "big picture" idea of OA from his point of view could help them "get it". Sometimes seeing it in a video with real live people is more of an impact that the reading materials. (??)
