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the only problem with bringing those things up in therapy is that when I do she tells me that I have to stop thinking those things, but yet doesn't give me tools to help me stop. I can't just say to myself stop.
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It is hard to just stop this kind of thinking, and I would definitely ask her point blank to give you some tools to accomplish this. If she has no answer or ideas, perhaps she is not the best therapist for you. What has worked for me when I have intrusive or negative thoughts that get in the way of me feeling better about myself is to try to catch myself when I am having these thoughts, and imagine a better alternative (for example, you were able to do this when Dpen presented her viewpoint as an adoptee), or just think "It's OK for me to feel good about myself" (or some other positive affirmation), or just say "NO, I'm NOT going there today!" and try to put my focus on something else. I know it sounds a little "cornball" but it has helped me.