[shadow riderer]

[quote=Lynard1210]I am grateful I was born . . . and i credit that to God - not my birthmom."

I think you said it all. Isn't being told that we adoptees should be greatful for not being aborted a little like being told that we were insignificant and unworthy of life, so we should be grateful to our birthmothers for deciding that we,insignificant and unworthy things, could live? If God decided we were worthy enough to be conceived/created, even under unpleasant conditions, who are birthmothers to say it was their decision as to whether we lived or not? Isn't saying to an adoptee that they should be greatful they weren't aborted a little like telling them their birthmother is God?

I was my Bmother's first pregnancy. Abortions were illegal. She felt like she had no choice, so she placed me for adoption. Years later, married with two other children, and in a troubled marriage, she became pregnant again. She says her husband, now ex, forced her to have an abortion. She had no choice? It's not my place to judge, but I have to wonder how someone "forces" a woman, who placed a child for adoption and had two others she raised, to have an abortion? Thankfully, she has never said to me, "I could have had an abortion." IMO, placing a child and having an abortion were her "choices", even if she felt like she had no choice. I didn't ask to be conceived. I didn't ask to be born and placed for adoption. My 1/2 sib didn't ask to be conceived, nor did he/she ask to be aborted. God decided we should be created and granted life, not my Bmother. My bmother decided to terminate my 1/2 sibs life , not God. If I owe gratitude to anyone for my life, I think it is God, not my birthmother.

In my way of thinking, my birthparents did not grant me life. God granted me life through my birthparents.