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Originally Posted by Momokat
So I am in a birthmother's support group that meets once a month....(and if anyone is in the DFW area and wants to join, we are looking for more to come! It's the second Tues of every month...7-8:30PM..PM me for more info)...
Anyway....most (if not all!) of the women I meet that are birthmothers from closed adoptions in the 70s or 80s are divorced...after they have reunited with their child or even before.
Do you all think there is a higher percentage of divorces among us birth moms? Any idea why? What about birth fathers?
I know my own marriage is just, well, lets just say very empty.
Thanks for the feedback....
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Giving up, losing, relinquishing, forced or not, changes you. For us from 60/70/80s when it was more likely we didn't want to and weren't given a choice.. everything changed. The secrets, lies, being told to forget, finding that impossible.
After reunion we start to become the woman we would have been if we had kept our child. That woman is often different then the one who got married.
So much about us changes. We often finish growing up, or decide to live life the way we wanted to before.
A life without fear of losing our children, fear of not being good enough.. all the stuff we hide from the world.
We become different and often the husband or ourselves doesn't like where we are at that moment and need to change.