[tomandcate]

My youngest is almost 2 and he's been having tantrums for the last few months. If he gets hold of something he's not supposed to have, I "trade" him for something appropriate and that usually works. Redirection has worked well for him. Thankfully he has not had too many fits in public but if he does and I cannot distract/redirect, we leave. My oldest (4) has only had to leave a store one time and it was Target, his favorite place to go. I gave him several warnings that we would leave if he couldn't behave - he didn't and so we left - and he learned quickly that I meant business.

At restaurants I believe it is usually too much to expect this age to sit quietly for an hour or more, so if they get too antsy my husband and I take turns walking them around outside while we wait for service.

I would absolutely stop the cookie thing (or any other reward) immediately - babies and toddlers and children are masters at the art of manipulation and it only takes once or twice for them to learn what it takes to get what they want. Believe me I know it is so easy to give in because it makes your immediate problem go away, but you are setting him and yourself up for bigger problems in the future.

When my youngest has a melt down at home I try several things to help him calm down - walking around with him, cuddling him, etc. If nothing I do works, I put him on the floor and tell him "Okay, I understand you are upset, so go ahead and cry." Then I go in the next room. That usually works, if not immediately then after a few minutes. He isn't much of a thrasher (he kicks but not with enough force to hurt himself) so I keep an eye on him but I put him in the middle of the open floor on a rug so he can't do any damage. With my oldest I send him to the guest bedroom or another part of the house - usually not his bedroom unless someone else is staying in the guest room - and I tell him to let me know when he's calmed down. That has worked well too. Youngest is too young to put anywhere other than his crib and I don't want to use the crib as the "cooling off place."

Also just FYI my kids' "witching hour" - especially if they don't take a nap - is anywhere from 5pm to 7pm. I almost never take them anywhere during these hours because I know it is harder for them to control themselves. When I take them to a store or restaurant I try to make sure it's at a time when they are as well-rested and/or well-fed and happy as possible!

Good luck, I know how frustrating/embarrassing/tear-inducing these tantrums can be!

Cate