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We are looking for straight adoption because we would "get too attached" to do foster care. Well, we say that's the reason but the real reason is that we/I am not emotionally strong enough to suffer the loss of a foster child and move on. I know that it is hard for foster parents, but I think that some people are more able/willing to put on a brave face and move on the next day or week. I would be a basket case unable to feed myself. Heck, I cry when I say goodbye to my folks after a weekend visit, and I see them at least once a month!
People say the "wrong" things meaning well all the time. They are not trying to insult you, they are trying to show you that they can see a weakness in their own emotional armour. They don't think you are calused, but rather that you are a stong person who can survive. You are the Scarlet O'Hahara of child care - not letting today's suffering stop you from living tomorrow, which is, afterall, another day.
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