Hey Momokat!!
I agree with Kathy's reminder that half of all marraiges end in divorce. It would, for me only, be an oversimplication to say that adoption is behind so many divorces.
I would also say that, for me, it was the opposite. Adoption had nothing at all to do with my divorce. That was destroyed by the disease of alcoholism, which pretty much descimates everything that crosses its powerful path.
In that regard, being a birthmother actually kept me married longer than common sense would've dictated. LOL! See...I had to be perfect at being a mom and a wife because I had to atone for the sin of relinquishing my daughter and son. I had to have an immaculately kept home and immaculately kept secrets and lies. I couldn't admit too myself that I'd married a person suffering from alcoholism!! God no!! That would mean that I'd made yet another bad choice in my life!! And I couldn't have that, now could I?
Nope! Respectability was the order of the day; as was watching ex bury bottles in our front yard because "they" were coming to take his booze. And me sitting back in fury thinking of ex - "You stupid jerk!! I'm trying to convince people I'm decent folk like them; not white trash that committed the worst crime possible - signing adoption papers!! People will find out!! Then they'll know the truth and it's all your fault alkie!!"
Sigh....I was as lost from myself in those days as one soul can get. Thank God that God knew that. Don't know what I would've done without His compassion then.
My heart goes out to my ex-husband in what he suffered then as well. Alcoholism - such a terrible illness.
A therapist once told me something interesting. Studies were done on divorce and it was learned that the people we pick in our 20's to marry are not necessarily the ones we'd pick if we married in our 30's and 40's.
Don't know if that's true or not. But it's an interesting find.
Much peace to you today!
Stinky_Kitty
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My DH has been one of my biggest supporters throughout the whole ordeal including reunion.
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I am so glad you have the suppport you need. You've sure earned it, my friend.
