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I agree that a lot of it sounds like bi-polar. But it doesn't really matter because he must decide to change.
As an adult, you can't MAKE him want a different life. You can however do things to hopefully encourage him to chose to live differently. He may have to hit rock bottom in order to see that he is responsible for pulling himself up. Its hard to sit back and watch your child that you love sink, but its called tough love.
It sounds like he has the capacity to understand cause and effect. He knows that he has to show up at work on time. He needs to feel the other consequences in order to learn them.
I understand how hard it is. I have a 20 year old bi-polar son.
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