[marythemom]

Biomom told me several weeks ago that she would be in Texas in January and wanted to know if she could see the kids. My first instinct was of course, "He** NO!" Then I realized that all the biofamily would tell my kids and I would look like the bad guy.

I decided that my 13 year old daughter couldn't handle it, but I'd leave it up to my 15 year old son. I was pretty sure he'd say no, and he almost did, but then decided he wanted some closure. So she scheduled the visit for 1/19 and we're all meeting with son's therapist for some ground rules before bringing in son. Fairly smooth.

He hasn't seen biomom in the 2 years he's been here in Texas (apparently she stalked his games and practices while he was in foster care for the 2.5 years), but daughter hasn't seen her in 4 years. Biomom voluntarily TPRed after dumping them each in foster care because they were "out of control" -keeping their younger siblings.

After this was decided, and before we could tell her about the visit, daughter ended up spending the 1 through 5th of the New Year in inpatient crisis mental health care (threatened suicide and has been getting increasingly "upset" - we were trying to remove her anti-depressant because of the bipolar diagnosis). They sent her home after 4 days because she wasn't suicidal or upset there (they did finish removing the anti-depressant).

We're basically homeschooling her using the workbooks from the private school right now, she has too many meltdowns and inability to be quiet and handle school yet. We'll probably try tomorrow - she's starts an increased dose of Concerta tomorrow morning (which will help or make it worse).

We can't afford the private school anymore and are in the process of having to put her back in public school (7th grade). Of course her first day is supposed to be 1/20. We still haven't had her IEP meeting (tentatively scheduled for 1/16) so have no idea what services she'll qualify for. We also haven't told her about going back to public school - which she will be very excited about.

She has bipolar, attachment disorder (anxiously attached, but her EMDR therapist thinks she's actually RAD), PTSD, ODD, LD particularly in reading - working on a 5th grade level, severe ADHD, and while most of it is drama she has threatened suicide and actually packed to run away. She's on MANY meds which we are still adjusting, sees a psychiatrist bi-monthly and has an AT therapist (seen every other week) and an EMDR therapist (seen weekly).

Biomom has already purchased plane tickets from Nebraska and we've got everything scheduled and given her the address of the therapist. Both of my daughter's therapists are thinking that this will probably cause a break down whether she's allowed to see biomom or not (especially if brother sees her and daughter can't).

Daughter had been slowly improving over the two years we've had her. The last few months she's been spiraling downward dramatically. This is the first time since she was 9 she's had to be put in a mental health facility.

I know this is a no win situation. Any suggestions?