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Originally Posted by jassy16
I was wondering ..how is it after that 18 year period....how long did you wait before he or she seeked you out...? I am really nervouse about that part i just want it to work out..and for her to feel complete wen she meet me not broken in pieces.
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Jassy, I will assume by your name you are somewhere in the mid-teens, and yes you do still have hormones that will, for some time be off the charts. Relinquishing a child is unnatural for the Mother and child. There is no way possible to ever "get over" this act, that we as Firstmoms have to now face. How can we, when this child formed, developed, and grew inside our womb...truly a miracle gift from GOD, for not all of us are capable of this miraculous act. For the first year, I was just numb, and do not recall alot of my life. i even managed to block alot of my decisions and daily life out. For instance, until about 4 months ago, I had forgotten about the ride home from signing those papers. I only remembered because my C.I.(confidential Intermmediary) was asked by a judge that I write a letter of all the events that led up to my babies(twins) being taken from me. This letter was in many ways cathardic,(meaning helpful to relive those last few months that led to relinquishing.) My point without getting too much into MY story, is simply ..you will move forward, days will seem a little meaningless at times, but the pain will and does lesson. I was told nothing about adoption, what happens, how it takes place, no counseling, no nothing. I was very unaware of any rights I might have. These days are a little better, by that having open-adoption- to semi-open adoption. Getting to meet the parents and know them. Do you have an open adoption ? How often will you get updates, or see her? I feel there has been baby steps made in the adoption industry, but a long ways to go. As for the next 18 yrs, I BEG OF YOU , to not think in this term of TIME! You are young, you will need to go on, and make you and your daughter, along with other children to come , proud of the accomplishments you wish to make. Maybe an education in child phsycology/social work. To possibly educate other women about the pains and ramifications of choosing to relinquish a child. When 18 yrs(which seems to be the magical number) gets here, you will be able to tell her all the things you accomplished from having to allow someone else to raise her. Please try so hard to do this 1 day at a time and make a plan for your future, for now this is all any of us can do. I hope to one day meet my twin sons, whom are now grown young adults(22 yrs.old) and I hope to see with my own eyes that ALL I endured was for a greater good. Time has a way to pass by, quickly, and one day you wake up and see that the eyes truly are the window to your sole. You are able to see, when you look into that mirror, that all things have a reason. I feel there is a purpose to all we go through...it just may take some time to figure it out! So try to get stronger each day, and do things that will place you in an even better place tomorrow...this will make your daughter so so proud. My Father,GOD REST HIS SOLE, once took me for a car ride, he turned the rear-view mirror to face me. He said , "Connie, look into that mirror, what do you see? I told him I saw what was behind us. He said that is correct, everything in that rear-view mirror is from that moment on ..in your past. He turned the mirror back, and told me to look ahead...everything up in front of us IS our future." Jassy, please make the best of all the tomorrows, life is short and we only get 1 chance...Please keep posting and visit with us...Blessings...C.J.
