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Mr. Detail, I am glad that you think now is the right time. My husband is an adoptee and says he really appreciates never remember being "told" he was adopted, it was just something he always knew (I'm not exactly sure how old he was when his parents told him?).
I don't know what kind of pictures/info you have about your dd's birth parents. Maybe you could start out by reading her one of the books that discusses adoption and somehow work the story of her birth/adoption in there.
I have talked to DD about being adopted since she was in infant - - it was more for me to "practice" how to handle conversations! She "sort of" gets it (she is now 3.5), but not really. We don't talk about it on a daily or weekly basis, but she is now able to echo some of her own story back to us. I always tell her how much her birth parents love her (I haven't gotten into "why" she was adopted....just not "there" yet agewise).
Don't worry about rejection!! You and your wife are her mom and dad. She may show some "sadness" over learning about this...I'm not sure. She may just think it's totally "fine" since she has friends who also are adopted, etc.
Best of luck to you!!! Don't be nervous...you can do it, and it will be fine!!! Oh, I also have a book that I think is pretty helpful called, "Talking to Young Children About Adoption." You may want to get that too! It's some "real life" stories from adoptive parents about how they talk to their kids. Good luck.
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