[Janeytwo]

Dear "LMK94", Hi. I'm Janey.

I thought I'd share something that happened with my eldest daughter in the hopes that it might be of some help to you.

When my eldest was a year old her bdad walked out on us. I don't hold any grudge against him. We were both very young (he was younger than I) and he simply didn't have what it took emotionally or financially to care for our daughter (heck, I barely did).

Over the years my daughter would ask why her dad had left; why he had abandoned her and why he didn't love her.

I always told her that even though I could understand how she might feel that way, that his decision to leave had nothing to do with her; that he loved her but that he was young and scared and probably didn't think that he was good enough to be her dad.

I told her that when she was 18 that if she wanted I would help her look for him so that they could reconnect. (There were reasons for this stipulation of waiting that I won't go into out of respect for my daughter and her dad.)

Anyway...after she graduated she and her dad met up quite by accident. The first thing he asked her was "what did your mom tell you about me?". She repeated what I'd always said and he broke down. So did she. Apparently from what she tells me it was a very emotional moment for them both (which I can only imagine).

Anyway....they have gone through a....well...a reunion of sorts I guess you could say. In fact, that's probably exactly what it's been for them. And they are now good friends and have a respectful father/daughter relationship. She also got two more sisters out of the deal so that was an extra special gift for her!!!

I just wanted you to know that sometimes -though it seems to take years to happen - people can reconnect.

I don't know if that brings you any peace but I wanted to say that IMO you're doing right by your daughter in the messages you send her about her bmom.

Wishing you peace today,