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I'm an adult adoptee and my bmom doesn't want contact. She didn't say why but I have a feeling it is because her husband was never told which means the majority of her family and friends don't know either. Maybe your daughter is a secret and her family has shamed her into thinking she needs to keep her a secret. Especially since you mentioned she is bi-racial or multi-racial. They obviously had a big problem with that and that has no doubt affected her deeply. Or she may also feel like she has no right since it's been 10 years since you had contact. She feels unfit, guilty and terrible that so much time has gone by.
All of this speculation of course. All you can really do is keep telling your daughter that this has NOTHING to do with her or how wonderful she is or how good she is. This is because her bmom is in a great deal of pain and it may hurt her to have contact right now. Sometimes the pain overwhelms the desire to have contact. That is what I keep telling myself and I actually believe it now.
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