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That's such a hard thing. I'm both adopted and a first mom. I have an open adoption with my son, I contacted my first mom four years ago when he was born and she chose not to have contact with me.
It's tough for me because I choose to put my heart out there for my kid. It isn't easy seeing him. I have to make myself write letters and things. Sometimes it I think it would be easier to walk away.... BUT I know in my heart that my son needs to know me, so I stay in touch.
Now, my first mom..... My first mom has her own pain, my first mom isn't me and doesn't know what it is like to be interested in where you came from and not have those answers. My first mom kept me a secret, most of her family and her husband's family didn't know. No, I'm not the product of an affair, but my first dad passed on while she was pregnant with me. I have five older siblings and none of them knew about me either.
I'm not making excuses, and who knows what she is thinking? She may think she isn't good enough, she may have convinced herself that your collective DD doesn't need her. She may not be able to handle contact.
I hope she comes around. Just love your daughter and let her know that you will always be there no matter what.
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First mom to the amazing Kiddo and adopted adult.
1-4-2009 Mom and I visit Kiddo despite the bad weather. He really loved the blue mittens I made him and even helped me plan my living room. Apparently Hot Wheels wallpapper is the way to go.
2-16-2009 I got a promotion, that comes with a raise. Mom and Dad are visiting and we're going to Al's for pie to celebrate.
4-27-2009 Dad surprises me with a Lady Ugly Stick (an awesome fishing rod that is pink) and a 2nd Iowa Light Artillery Battery jacket. I'm a lucky girl!
5-30-2009 Kiddo turns five. It is hard to believe he is that old already, it seems like just yesterday he was being born. I was at peace for the first time on his birthday, what a nice feeling.
6-13&14 2009 A cannon live fire in Casper WY. We got third place and I got to see Devil's Tower for the first time, it was pretty awesome.
7-4-2009 Amelia the kitten comes to live with me and Liz. Talk about jealousy, Liz will adjust though.
Last edited by belleinblue1978 : 01-08-2009 at 09:44 AM.
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