Quote:
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Originally Posted by c.a
I usually make a comparison to other losses I've experienced in my life. I say "We bring pets in to our lives, knowing that they are unlikely to outlive us - would you not adopt a dog because he is likely to only give you ten or twelve loving years and then leave you?" or "I wouldn't give up a minute with my grandmother just because she passed away." and "I don't discourage my children from having relationships just becaue they might suffer a loss when the relationship ends or changes."
When foster children are with me I love them with everything I've got, and when they leave, I grieve. Loss is a part of life - and I will not shy away from the joy just because I may also have to experience the other side.
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This is the best answer I've seen!
You know that poem prayer that goes
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."
When some people flippantly say they'd get too attached, I think it is an excuse. When others say it after having mentally put themselves in your shoes, I think that they mean that they have trouble "knowing the difference," are too likely to take on the troubles of others not as a sadness for them, but as their own personal plight. They are often called thin-skinned, vulnerable, or oversensitive. Pointing out their own weakness doesn't mean that they're calling you a brutish and uncaring monster. I think an answer like this one, c.a gives them a perspective, a context, and a respectful "deep thought" that they can take away without feeling hurt or put in their place, which the thin-skinned are going to be overly sensitive to anyway. I think it would have the most chance of actually inspiring positive change in the way they see fostering.