[RavenSong]

Being in a larger city wouldn't diminish the possibility of running into your child's birthmother. I spotted my son a couple times in my hometown, which happens to be one of the largest cities on the West Coast. This possibility of running into each other is just one of the facts that come along with adoption, IMHO.

What worried me when I read your post was the comment, "I am sure the agency screened her and she wouldn't run up to the stroller or do anything but you never know when emotions are so raw." First of all, birthmoms process their emotions and experiences differently. Some bmoms have an incredible amount of grief the first couple years, while other bmoms bury the emotions deep inside themselves and become numb. The thing that bothers me though is your comment about the agency "screening" her. I don't know of any adoption agency that would refuse placing a child for adoption because the relinquishing mother might have emotional outbursts afterwards.

If I had run into my son with his parents when he was little, I would not have run up to them. I probably would have watched them from a distance for a while, but I doubt I would have even gone up to them. And I certainly wouldn't have snatched him back. That is a stereotype put out by Hollywood, and a very unrealistic one at that. I placed my son for adoption so he would have a better life than the one I could give him at the time. Why would I suddenly snatch him back, just because I caught a glimpse of him? That would negate the whole purpose of my relinquishing him to begin with.

Birthmothers are not just a mass of raw emotions...they still have logical brains and do give a lot of careful forethought to their decision to relinquish. Just my two cents...