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If you cannot accept her just as she is, I would not go forward with the adoption. It isn't fair to expect someone to change. You can hope that they change and you can give them the tools to change, but then its up to them. She may simply make the choice to stay the same. Your acceptance can't hinge on that. I know it hard to realize that someone may chose a worse life, but she may.
Also - don't believe the reports of abuse. My daughter claims that I starve her. She claims that I don't let her out of her room. Not true. Pictures or not, don't believe it. A lock on the door does not mean she was locked in abusively. It may mean that she is unsafe.
If this doesn't feel right, don't do it. Trust your gut.
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