[fredalina]

i think families should stay together, but i also think kids should be moved as little as possible because attachment issues are so serious, and sometimes the two don't go together. All we can hope for in this situation is that the right thing happens for these kids, which may be staying with the only family the toddler has ever known, or may be that the kids stay together and are adopted by you.

Also, and i mean no offense whatsoever, but your infertility vs. the other family having another baby shouldn't be any consideration. This is said by someone who is entering foster care herself because of infertility (we would have been foster parents later on if we could have bio children), so i understand the hurt and pain that goes with infertility. But this shouldn't be about you, or the other people, it should be about the kids first, foremost, and really exclusively. If you found out tomorrow that you were pregnant, it probably wouldn't affect your love for M or your desire to adopt the other kids, too, right? Two years from now you could have an infant (i don't know your IF issues, but just hypothetically) and M would be a toddler and you probably wouldn't want to see him leave your home to be placed in the home of an infertile couple just because you have "your own" baby. Right?

Anyway, good luck, and i hope this all works out in the kids' best interest!