[feelingreyt]

The one statement that would concern me above the others is the fact the grandfather said he would treat the child differently than he treats your other children. That would not set well with me, not for a moment.
This child would become a sibling to your other children. In my house, everyone treats everyone the same...PERIOD!
We have 2 bio children and 1 adopted son. No one in my family will treat my adopted son any differently than they treat my bios. The same holds with my son's bfamily(relative adoption, placed at 5 days old). They will treat all my kids equal. If not, they will have to deal with me!

I wish you all the luck in the world. My thoughts are with the child.