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I hate to say this, but if you are uncomfortable with his terms and not willing to budge and he is uncomfortable with yours and not willing to budge, this may not be the right situation for either of you. If you think the new child being treated differently would cause problems with your other children, this is a situation that you should not take.
I hope that whatever happens, it's the right thing for you, your family, him, and the child. The children are what's important in all of this.
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