[ripples]

Originally Posted by BethVA62

I've heard many adoptees say they would have rather have been aborted, which at times i can completely understand. Then they go to live their daily lives in grief, apathy and sorrow if they can't shake it.

I've heard many say they are so grateful to their aparents they could never repay them.
Then they go on to deny themselves of their first family's love.

I've heard some say they could never be grateful for being adopted when it means to them that they should be grateful to have lost their mother and entire family. Cause one typically could not have been adopted with out loss of family. I'll never be grateful to have lost my family for 40 years.

Very well said, Beth!

On a similar note, perhaps many people outside the adoption triangle should feel grateful for having been spared experiences similar to the ones you've mentioned.

A study by Hjern and associates (Anders Hjern, Frank Lindblad, Bo Vinnerljung, "Suicide, psychiatric illness and social maladjustment in intercountry adoptees in Sweden: a cohort study" published in 2002) found that, among the Swedish population, after adjustment for major confounding factors, intercountry adoptees were 3.6 times more likely than Swedish-born children to die from suicide, 3.6 times more likely to attempt suicide, 3.2 times more likely to be admitted for a psychiatric disorder, to get involved in drug abuse (5.2 times more likely) or alcohol abuse (2.6 times) or to commit a crime (1.6 times). It may be that the experience in Sweden cannot be directly generalised to other countries, but these figures do give cause for concern.