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Originally Posted by BrandyHagz
There is no legal way to reverse an adoption. The only way for an adoption to become void is if another man adopts the child, yet again.
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Actually, that is INCORRECT. I was adopted by my step-father at age 5, and I legally took on his last name at the time. Upon reaching adulthood, however, I decided I wanted my "birth" name back, as I had by then resumed a relationship with not only my previously abandoning biological father, but I was very close with his parents (my bio paternal grandparents).
During the process of legally changing my name back, I was informed BY THE JUDGE that the law stipulates an adopted individual has ONE YEAR FROM REACHING THE AGE OF MAJORITY (18), to NULLIFY the adoption, as though it NEVER HAPPENED.
I chose NOT to do so, as it would deeply hurt my adoptive stepfather, who I have a decent relationship with. Should he pass away before my biological father (who plans to leave me a large inheritance, at this point), I MIGHT consider having my biological father adopt me, making me "legally" his son.... again.
The point here, though, is that there IS a legal provision to "undo" the adoption, for a one year period. Perhaps it is not the same in every state, I do not now. But it is certainly the case in the state of Vermont, where all of this took place.
NOW.... I have been married to a woman for nearly a year, who adopted a baby girl shortly after birth. Although the biological mother is a "friend" of the family to this day, the biological father is not even known (complicated). Simply put, my wife is the SOLE parent, and no others have any legal rights to this child, now 8 years old. For the last 14 months, I have been the ONLY "father figure" this child has EVER known, and we - as a family - are planning on having me adopt her as soon as possible. I hardly think we will be "ruining" her life in this case. Instead, she no longer feels "left out" when all the other kids talk about their "Dads" (good, bad, absent, or present!) - because at least now she HAS a "Dad!"
As somone who has now been on BOTH ends of step-parent adoption, I think it is one of the most wonderful things there is, for CERTAIN families. Every family is different, but for some it is a true blessing.