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Originally Posted by jassy16
I Just gave my Baby Girl to her Adoptive parents on December 9th 2008..i know it was only 6 days ago but i feel like my life is over ...i think that was the hardest thing i ever did....I know i will evenually make it through but right now at this point i can sit and think of her everyday.... Im scared im going to forget her...although i know i was doing somthing right becase i chose a wonderful mom and dad for her...I know that it was best because all i cud give her is my love which many say is enough but i wanted her to have more and not know what its like to struggle and grow up with no father in her life and a father that is such a bad man. The only relief is for crying for her....I Loved Her instantly and jus wish i cud be the one she calls mom and grows odd with......I want her back but i know she is better off...Its just sooo Hard......
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Oh, Honey, you will NEVER forget her. It's hard..and heartbreaking. I suggest all that others before me, suggested...counseling, grief therapy, and group therapy for 1st parents.
I also suggest you keep a couple of diaries...one for yourself to write your feelings in, and one for your daughter..to give to her when you have reunion in a few years. You can even buy her a birthday card every year and keep it for her. I'm sure you'll come up with ideas of your own. Do things to help you through it. I won't say to help you heal, because in most cases, the healing doesn't start until after reunion, and you find the rest of your heart.
Also keep coming here to this site. There are many of us that are going through the process. We can all support you.
I wish I'd had this site to go to during my years of yearning for my child, and going through the pain of separation. I didn't "choose" adoption...it was forced on me. I know that there are a lot of other 1st moms on here that had it forced on them, too.
I wish you well. Please keep in touch with us.
Love,
Rosie