[kakuehl]

Dear Hillary,

First, you did post at the right place!

You are grieving right now. Recognize it as a good thing! It is a sign that you are not hiding your emotions from yourself. Just as with a death, there is a finality about relinquishing that is incredibly painful. As the others say, it does get easier.

I gave birth to D near the beginning of my last year in college. Looking back, I have no idea how I got through that last year. One of my friends told me later that I had looked so said that he had just wanted to give me a hug. (I with he had - but I also know that I pushed people away.) For over 32 years I had no clue whether he was alive or dead... We have now been in reunion over 3 years. I'm getting to watch his children grow. I love him now as I did then and I'm still sure I made the right decision when I place him.

If you are not yet willing to meet with a support group (or even if you are), you may find it easier to vent, express feelings, etc. here. We have been there! Try not to make too many life changing decisions. Looking back, I made lots of choices for my life: marrying within the year, etc., that were the direct result of my grieving process and its effect on me.

There are lots of resources here. Welcome again.