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I understand the conflicting feeling of being grateful for being adopted.
i've said it all at one point or another.
I've heard many adoptees say they would have rather have been aborted, which at times i can completely understand. Then they go to live their daily lives in grief, apathy and sorrow if they can't shake it.
I've heard many say they are so grateful to their aparents they could never repay them.
Then they go on to deny themselves of their first family's love.
I've heard some say they could never be grateful for being adopted when it means to them that they should be grateful to have lost their mother and entire family. Cause one typically could not have been adopted with out loss of family. I'll never be grateful to have lost my family for 40 years.
Like celebrating our birthdays, certainly we should want to celebrate life, but do you have any idea how one just doesn't really feel like celebrating the day they lost their mother? (well if that was the day, it was for us at the second I was born... poof, gone never to lay eyes on one another, not once. My mother wasn't even allowed to see me at birth and I/we should be grateful I was taken for adoption???? My mother didn't choose adoption, it was chosen for her, for us.
As far as being grateful that I was adopted rather than aborted.... The third choice is missing... with adoption or abortion the one thing that they have in common is that we don't get to have our mothers and families in our lives, so to many the choice between the two doesn't really matter.
If I were never born then I couldn't be ungrateful or grateful about anything, so it would be a mute point.
I'm glad to be alive, I can imagine even the non-adopted are grateful for life too.
I will never be grateful towards anyone for having to be adopted.
But I am grateful that out of all the parents I could have gotten, I got good ones, so many of us weren't so lucky.
And I am most grateful that now finally both of my mothers and all of my family members are included in my life. That is what I am most thankful for, MY family, not the loss of my family which "being grateful to be adopted" connotates.
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