I didn't expect this
My baby boy was born on December 29th, 2008... I planned on adoption from the very beginning, knowing that being 18 and in college I wouldn't be able to provide everything my son deserved...
I chose an open adoption.. though I chose not to have visitation... thinking that would only confuse him... pictures and monthly updates are enough...
At the hospital I was able to see him whenever I asked, which was often, and the adoptive parents were there too. I let them spend a lot of time with him... they did most of the feeding and changing etc.
I came home 4 days after arriving at the hospital... and at first I was okay. A lot of friends came by to see me (I had many people supporting me and my choice of adoption) and I was feeling fine.
But today it was like this wall of sorrow just hit me... and I can't do anything but lay in bed and cry. I want to try and move on... I miss my baby so much... but I can't let that take over my life...I don't know what to do.
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