Dear Jenn,
I think it's only natural at this point for your amom to feel a bit insecure. Even when people read up on reunion and think they're prepared for it, we can be surprised at the feelings that surface on all sides of the triad.
It's going to take a while before "things settle down". Changes are always hard; at least they are for me.
There are plenty of ways you can show your mom that she's not going to be replaced in your heart by your birthmom. (That is probably her biggest fear right now.) Do some mother-daughter things together, like shopping, going to movies, going out to dinner. Be sure to call her on a regular basis if you aren't living at home.
Time will take care of a lot of what you're experiencing right now. For the time being, just treat everyone the way you would want to be treated. In my own life, I've found the "Golden Rule" to be most useful. Your mom will eventually see that your birthmom isn't a threat. But it does take time...
There is enough love to go around... It just seems so scary in the beginning. Things will eventually fall into place...
