[BlackSheep]

muchdestiny-

What a blessing a baby is,no matter your financial situation! I am both an adoptee and a birthmom. I know the pain of making the decision that you are struggling with, and I also know about growing up knowing that my "real" mom is "out there somewhere" and all those questions about "who do I look like?", "does my mom love me or did she ever love me?"

I did place my first child and then met and married my dh. I had a very hard pregnancy with our first child so my dh was very apprehensive about me getting pregnant again. He told me more than once that if I had to go through what I did carrying our ds, he didn't want to have more children. I wonder if your last pregnancy has something to do with the way your dh is feeling now about this pregnancy. I had to tell my dh over and over again that each pregnancy is different just like each child is different and we did have a beautiful dd. That was more than 15 years ago since that happened. Like you and your dh, the economy was not great at that time and our financial situation was such that we struggled to just support the 3 of us, let alone another baby! But, as others have pointed out, the financial situation does change and adoption is permanent, that one doesn't change. God does provide, He proved it to us!

Please do not feel pressured into thinking that you need to make a decision anytime soon. Also, your children, no matter how young, will "know" that something is going on and please think about how relinquishing their younger brother/sister will effect them. Talk to your dh and talk with others, pray together and cry together. All these things will help you to determine what is in your heart and your dh's heart.